I was once asked if I am marginalized, to which I replied:
"I am careful about the words I use after "I am." I am not marginalized. Have I been marginalized? Maybe, but I am not marginalized."
Lately, I've seen this word pop up more and more and am curious about its meaning since it is used in different contexts.
Marginalized: a person, group, or concept treated as insignificant or peripheral.
The core words that stood out to me were: insignificant and peripheral.
Insignificant: too small or unimportant to be worth consideration.
Peripheral: of secondary or minor importance
My first question around the word marginalized is: marginalized by who?
By those who don't see their value? If they don't see their value, I can't possibly expect them to see mine. Or by those who see my value in such light that it makes their darkness uncomfortable?
To go into agreement with being "marginalized" means handing over your power to someone else. It means handing someone power to place value on you.
No one without your permission can make you feel small, secondary, minor, or unimportant.
Some of the greatest people in our history walked in and showed up to places they were not welcome or invited. But, they didn't allow the thoughts, words, opinions, and the energy of others to dim and diminish their light.
From my experience and by definition, Black folks have never been unimportant or secondary. If we were, our medicine, inventions, culture, and expertise would have never been sold, exploited, and used to build a lot of what influences America and parts of the world today.
I reflect on Frederick Douglass, who in the 1800s could have been killed without a whisper. He made some of the most impactful decisions in places he would have been considered "marginalized." Yet, he didn't let the noise of other's opinions about him being less than them dampen his character.
Thus changing the world.
Before you go into agreement with a word, a vibration, and a frequency - think about the impact and intent it has. Hell, look up the word and its meaning. If it doesn't feel right to your soul, don't receive it. Don't go into agreement with it.
By not receiving low-vibrational words regardless of how "trend-hyped" they are, you'll be able to break free from a narrative and programing that perpetuates the system that you don't agree with.
The words you speak (or agree to) become the house you live in.
Another way to think about commonly used words (minority, marginalized, disadvantaged, etc.) is to look at them from the ego's perspective.
When faced with a choice of growing or staying the same, ego chooses comfort and lack of growth because if the things were to outgrow ego, ego fears that it no longer will be relevant. If ego becomes less irrelevant, ego loses its power.
Follow me here.
So what does ego do? It creates lies and keeps you trapped in a mindset that influences your heart, diminishes your soul, and infects your health.
The ego is sneaky, and the easiest, most subtle way it can influence you is through the use of words. We often don't think about the vibration, or even the origin words carry. This causes us to go into agreement with words that keep us trapped, bitter, unhealed, and unable to move forward.
See ego as a person. It feeds and thrives off words that seem harmless yet, when unmasked, are disempowering.
Beautiful humans, hear me when I say: do not fall trap or allow yourself to fall victim to the words of those who can't find their humanity and light.
Even if those people seem to know the way.
You will find it has been an inside job all along.
I am not marginalized.
Charisse Fontes is the founder of Culture Circle and an Executive + People Ops Advisor to founders and leadership teams.
more about Culture Circle →first published on linkedin, sep 2021_
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